Do Something

I had hoped that I'd be able to write that I've made some progress on the dating scene, but no go.  I've been side-tracked by mid-terms, presentations, conferences and providing a much needed hand to dear friends during a crisis.  As a result, I've not been giving myself much attention and lost some focus over the last couple weeks.  The first to go was my quiet time with God.  Not good.  Because I wasn't talking and sharing with God, fear and doubt were able to creep in.  Fear that I'd always be alone and doubt about the wisdom of undertaking such a thing as making it to the altar in 18 months.  You see, I'm neither an eternal optimist nor a suffering pessimist.  Those are both extremes which can lead to some not so wise choices.  I prefer balance to operating in euphoric delusion or self-fulfilling doom and gloom.  Fortunately, for me it's Spring Break and I've been able to take a deep breath, re-group and reclaim some of my quiet time.  "Give us this day our daily bread."  I offered God a prayer of trust. I let God know that I have some things going on and needed help staying on track.  I asked for strengthening of my faith, help managing my emotions, doubts and insecurities as well as my academic and professional worries.  Usually this prayer is only a part of my quiet time, but today it became the most important part. I've decided to be a  warrior and step out on faith.

Do something!  I decided that an integral part of this endeavor would be to try something new every month.  The logic being that by stepping away from my comfort zone I would perhaps expand my social networks and meet some new people.  Well, I decided to try rock climbing.  Had a great time, got lots of exercise and had plenty of laughs.  The problem is that I went at the wrong time.  Apparently, I was there during family hour.  No single gentlemen to be found; only mommies, daddies and children's birthday parties.  Oh well, maybe next time.  On the other hand, the outing did remind me that my future groom must love kids, which is one of the qualities I listed in my petition to the guardian angels of my soul-mate.

Writing a letter to the guardian angels of your soul-mate might sound a little new age-y.  I thought the same thing when my very good friend suggested it to me.  She reminded me that I couldn't argue with success.  She had done this very thing and met her soul-mate a year to the date of writing the letter.  They are now married and raising a family together.  Encouraged,  I wrote my letter to God's foot soldiers.  Even more important, by writing the letter I was able to clarify for myself what it is that I WANTED in a partner, not what I didn't want.  Here's the list.  The qualities here are in no particular order:

 

1.      I want him to be sweet to me

2.      I want to be a priority in his life

3.      I want him to be my biggest cheerleader and one of the most important parts of my support system

4.      I want him to own our relationship and treat it like it is gold, silver and tickets to the Superbowl

5.      I want him to be attentive

6.      I want him to be able to express himself and not solve problems by walking away and reappearing when he feels the coast is clear

7.      I want him to be assured and confident – in a general sense

8.      I want him to be willing to take chances with me – emotionally, with our family and be adventurous

9.      I want him to be honest AND truthful; no committing omissions

10.  I want him to be ethical and have a personality built upon values similar to mine

11.  I want him to be compassionate, show grace and tolerance

12.  I want him to be physically compatible – sexually

13.  I want him to be open to all channels and avenues for making our love, life and family better

14.  I want him to be steadfast and never give up

15.  I want him to be financially secure and astute; know when to seek guidance

16.  I want him to make efforts to let me know I am special, that he is interested in me and that I am important to him

17.  I want him to have goals and objectives

18.  I want him to love having a good time

19.  I want him to be proud to be with me and be able to point and say she’s with me, she’s mine

20.  I want him to marry me

21.  I want him to respect me

22.  I want us to spend quality time together

23.  I want him to work with me to create a life together where we feel secure and safe with one another

24.  I want us to create a “village” that loves, supports and will safeguard us.  I want us to be that for others in our “village”

25.  I want him to always be willing to try

26.  I want him to be a spiritual man who knows there is something greater than himself; I want him to be awed by the ocean and nature

      27. I want him to be so comfortable with himself that who I am is no threat

      28. I want him to be fit, not super-model fine, but fit

In case you're interested in writing your own letter to the guardian angels of your soul-mate, the template I followed is below - start, body and conclusion.  This is great for those who are single and looking, married and wanting to maintain their relationship or those in a relationship looking to shake it up a little bit. 

 

Dear Guardian Angels of My Soul Mate,

Then, pour out your heart to these angels in the body of the letter. It doesn’t matter whether you know who your soul mate is, because the angels do. Then conclude the letter by saying something like:

I know that my soul mate is looking for me with the same fervor as I am looking for him/her. Thank you for guiding us to meet, love, and experience a joyful and harmonious relationship based upon mutual respect, integrity, shared interests, and passionate romance. Thank you for clearly guiding me in ways that I can easily understand so that I may enjoy this relationship now.

One last word, be careful what you ask for.  You will be and should be asked to bring the same to the table.