Monday, March 14, 2011

The Law of Attraction

Over the last two weeks, I have received constant reminders that I am loved and cared about. I had lost sight of this because I have been so focused on what is lacking in my life and not on the abundance in my life. First, my cousin is coming for a long weekend visit. He only sees me during the Christmas holidays and wants to spend quality time with me. Next, a classmate from high school wrote to me " are such an intelligent beautiful gift... I am honored to be able to say "hey,I know her" Thank You, Beautiful. " Then an unexpected Fed Ex package arrived. It contained a Chuck Brown 2-disc DVD set, a DVD of Prince videos from 1979 and a DVD of the Prince and The Time concert that took place in Houston in 1982. Also, another friend regularly sends me texts to ask about my day, check in on me and to let me know he's thinking of me When he asks about my day, he genuinely wants to know. He's never satisfied with just a "good" or "great." One of my oldest and dearest friends visits from time to time with his wife and kids. I was a bridesmaid in their wedding. When he comes to visit, he laughs out loud because he has me all to himself and doesn't have to share me with our other friends (other than his wife). I haven't had to convince any of these folks that I am lovable, that I am worthy or that I matter. They have shown up and shown out. I have to wonder what have I sent out into the Universe to deserve such wonderful friends. On the other hand, I have to wonder what have I sent out into the Universe that I have not been successful in my more intimate relationships.

This past week, I've been reading "The Soulmate Secret." It is written by Arielle Ford and is based on beliefs anchored by the Law of Attraction. Once again, my new age-y friend has me taking in this stuff that I just find so far fetched. She keeps reminding me of her success and I'm compelled to give it a shot. I have to admit that she may be onto something. The Law of Attraction or LOA suggests that our inner thoughts can shape our physical reality. I agree - to a point. I'm certain the folks in Japan would disagree their inner thoughts have shaped their current physical reality. We must be wary of blaming the victim. For me, the optimum way of approaching this is to take what works for me and leave the rest on the table. In case you aren't convinced, I'm sharing some chapter titles that might arouse your curiosity: Belief; Unhooking the Past; Taking Action; and Are You Ready for Big Love. I found these extremely helpful. After reading these chapters I considered the following: do I have time to incorporate another person into my life as I pursue a PhD and work full-time; am I holding onto an old love or past hurts and circumstances that are shaping my current reality and choices; how do I envision my life; and do I believe I'm worthy of the love I say I want or am I going to settle - again. All good questions and deserving of some contemplation. I think we should all examine what vibrations and energies we are sending out into the Universe and not only consider personal relationships, but all relationships including professional, familial, financial, etc.   The author offers some exercises for uncovering some of these hidden truths. I think many are symbolic, but will be revealing and cathartic when I get around to them. Speaking of settling....

I was scheduled to go on a date this weekend. Very attractive man, nice guy, great conversationalist and highly recommended by a mutual friend. I had planned to meet him for dinner, but then cancelled. I know what you're thinking. What? Why? The man has four children - one his biological child and the others are the children of his ex and another man. He's caring for these children while she is deployed to Afghanistan. Admirable to say the least, but too complicated for me. I do not want to take on a ready-made family of six or maybe seven (him, four kids, an ex and her ex). I have not excluded men with children from my dating pool, but I object to dating and marrying a man with some other people's children. I have to wonder where is their father and why has he consented to allow this man to care for them. I do want my own children (biological or adopted) but what might this family situation mean for my resources, future children or family dynamics.  I do think it's important to get out there and meet new people, but I don't think it prudent to waste my or anyone else's time.  There is no future in being dishonest with myself about what I want and potentially settling just to say I have a man.
in reference to: Home | Daily Word (view on Google Sidewiki)
The Soulmate Secret by Arielle Ford


  1. I think you were smart to cancel the date. Good for you Mike, for being able to hold out for "The Billion Dollar Prize".

  2. Sister, I have been waiting on an update about your journey. How are you doing? I pray that all is well. I just wrote a blog about my desire to get married and thought about you in the process. I pray that you are having a great learning experience. Be blessed.

    Check out "I Want An Arranged Marriage" at

  3. Sister,
    One of my blog followers left a message for you on my site. She was encouraging you to give us a blog update. We are all waiting to know what is going on with your journey. Peace and Blessings, LaTosha