Monday, May 30, 2011

Want Love? Then Be Love-Able. Here’s How

Want Love? Then Be Love-Able. Here’s How

This is a blog post from Mastin Kipp, founder of The Daily Love. It's a plainly written articualtion of our responsibilities if we want to discover love        
 and be loved in return.   

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Stop Being Resistant!

This year I adopted the philosophy of ELEVATION.  My intent is to push everything I attempt beyond my comfort zone.  I feel pretty satisfied that I have remained true and not slacked off.  My accomplishments include declaring my intent to be married in 18 months, stretching myself academically, adopting strategies that rely upon dream manifestation, studying spiritual gurus and communicating my authentic truth and feelings without censure and with complete transparency. I admit that not everything has resulted in the outcome I wanted, but I took action, stepped out of my comfort zone and recovered my power that I had relinquished to fear.  When I did that, I became free and began to feel more like myself than I have in the last four years.  I have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

What I still need to work on is my resistance.  When I stake my claim on an opinion or adopt a stance, it is hard work for me to get a new attitude.  My awareness of this resistance grew as I bumped up against ideas and suggested shifts in my behavior.  I first noticed this during a class I took, Sex and Society.  The focus of the class was the examination of the ways society impacts sexual identity and behavior with an emphasis on LGBTQ issues.  For the uninitiated, that's lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered and queer. I am on the race and urban track and  had little interest in all things LGBTQ.   It wasn't until I realized how deeply these issues cut across gender, race and class that I considered how my resistance might have offended and what disservice I might be doing to the very people I want to champion. I REALLY knew I had a problem when I became angered by the repeated requests of Yahoo! to give up its classic mail version in favor of the new beta version. However, this time I was saved.  My inner voice spoke to me and said "stop being resistant."  I stopped and switched to the beta version. It works just fine.  My resistance reared its ugly head again during church this morning.  I won't repeat the pastors' sermon for you, but he referenced those of us seeking marriage and our reluctance to do something different such as join The Leading Website for Singles and Personals.  My goof girlfriend who was sitting next to me nudged my arm and poked me in the side.  She said "he's talking to you.

   Everyone who knows me can tell you that I've been resistant to on-line dating.  I'm not fearful of who may find out or what it may say about me.  I'm scared that I will be the one person who will connect with every serial killer who has posted a profile on the site.  Irrational, right?!  Obviously not everyone on the site is a serial killer.  In fact, a very good friend met her husband on the site.  I was a bridesmaid in their wedding.  No sooner than I could emphatically shake my head no and repeat my mantra about serial killers, my inner voice spoke out and said "stop being resistant."  At that moment, I knew that I was blowing a potential avenue for making it to the altar in 18 months.  Having nothing to lose and everything to gain, I turned to my good girlfriend and told her I would do it, but that SHE would be responsible for creating my profile and screening any potentials. She happily agreed.  

The point is that by being resistant I am likely to block my blessings or miss a gift the Universe has intended for me.  If you're a regular reader, you've probably noticed that my comfort with the Law of Attraction and its principles has grown to such a point that I've become a bit of an advocate.  So my conclusion that if I'm being resistant, I will be met with resistance is logical.  Definitely not what I want.  If I want to attract a groom who is open, curious and willing to grow with me, I have to live my life without resistance and be willing to take chances.

By the way, I've made a new friend.  I'll keep you posted.

Monday, May 23, 2011

The Missing Ingredient for Success Today

One of my favorite websites is The Daily Love. It's administered by this guy Mastin Kipp who is a mentor and motivational speaker. I'm not sure how folks achieve these titles or receive the blessing to go forth as experts, but he seems to have a pretty huge following via his website, Facebook, Twitter and among all the better known self-help and law of attraction gurus. If he's good enough for them, I guess he's good enough for me. Anyway.......

Mastin Kipp has an excellent blog post today about patience and how our lack of it impedes success. I was not blessed with the attribute patience. I have prayed for it like a mad woman as I possess it in very small quantities.

I reserve it for the very young, the infirm and those who are obviously mentally compromised. That's not a lot of folks. So, you can imagine how long and intolerable some days can be for me. For example, I have little patience for fiddlers and dawdlers. When I arrive at Target and park my car, I grab my purse, jump out and head for the store. Easy peasy. Well, not for everyone. I have a friend who will jump out and then fiddle around in the backseat doing who knows what. I'm standing there thinking WTH. Finally, she emerges with nothing but a purse. I'm thinking that it took 3 f****** minutes to grab a purse. Arrrgh! Also, I'm easily frustrated by the decision making process engaged in by other people and a million other things that I can fill this page with, but won't. You get my point. I'm an action person. My brain is like a computer. Information is input, an analysis is performed, a decision is made and I act on it. For me, this is a fairly quick exercise. I can truthfully say I have few regrets regarding decisions I've made. As I sit here and think about it, I can only think of two. On the other hand, my lack of patience does not always serve me well.

My lack of patience is frustrating for me. I've often thought what have I missed along the path of my journey because I find it difficult to slow down. What lessons have I not gotten because I move through experiences very quickly? I don't like hurt feelings, disappointment or rejection. It's been my rule to cry about "it" for 24 hours and move on because there is still much to do and I'm a warrior woman.

It's only been recently that I've discovered there is much to be said for living in the present and that every step of the journey should be savored - the good and the bad. 18 Months to the Altar has been the catalyst for this understanding. In my preparation for marriage, I've not only observed couples who possess the type of relationships I admire, I've also done a lot of self examination. I've read dozens of books about the Law of Attraction, spiritual health and loving intention. I've asked myself what role has my lack of patience played in my not so successful intimate relationships. I don't mean the obvious stuff like being on ring watch, waiting for a proposal, wondering when will I meet the family, when will we make our formal debut as a couple or when are we going on vacay together, but my rush to just get it done so that I can move on to the next "thing." I've treated intimate relationships like something to be checked off a list. And I'm sure I've made some of the guys I've dated feel like they were a to-do item.  Not a great trait if you're hoping to become a Mrs. someday and I do hope to do so.  I'm decidedly more easy breezy these days.

Although I do hope to get married (sooner than later), I'm more about living the exact moment that I'm in and not worrying about what's going to come next.  No matter what actions I take, the Universe has already laid out the path.  I can either accept it with love, patience and thanksgiving or fight it every step of the way with timelines, demands and frustration.  I choose the former.  Check out this paragraph from Mastin's blog. It says it much better than I can. Below is a link to Mastin's complete blog entry.

"So, what does patience feel like? For me patience is the slow, yet perfect unfolding of my dreams one day at a time. It’s embracing the uneasiness of all the things that are still unsettled in my heart and having the faith that The Uni-verse is working for my best interest, even if I can’t see it or feel it in this moment. Patience is accepting the present fully as it is and then course correcting. Patience is allowing yourself to make mistakes and then learn from them. Patience is removing the word “should” from your vocabulary and instead, understanding that everything that’s happened in your life has been necessary to teach you."

The Missing Ingredient for Success Today

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Meet The Longest Married Couple In The World | PraiseHouston - Praise 92.1 Houston's Home for the Gospel Community

I thought you would enjoy this little story that I came across.  Not only is it inspiring, but hints at the elements that are important parts of relationships.  Notice the wife doesn't talk about how "fine" her husband was when they met, but that he was quiet and kind.

Meet The Longest Married Couple In The World | PraiseHouston - Praise 92.1 Houston's Home for the Gospel Community

Friday, May 20, 2011

Spiritual Running Buddies

I'm not sure if you are familiar with Gabrielle Bernstien, but if not you should be. I just finished watching her video blog, Spiritual Running Buddies. She vlogs about the importance of having buddies who are on a similar spiritual path as you. She talks with watchers of the vlog about the importance of having people around you who share the need for spiritual health, inner happiness, integrity and authenticity. I look around and see so many people who are only representatives of their true selves. They think they're fooling everyone, but it's right up front for all to see. These folks may be your family members, close friends, co-workers, sorority sisters, sitting next to you on the train during your morning commute or it may be you. Love them, but do it with a little distance. One day they may be ready to join you on your journey, but not right now. Don't jeopardize your spiritual growth trying to bring them along before they're ready.  Check out Gabrielle's vlog.  The link is below so that you can watch.

Bit by bit, I'm building a posse of spiritual buddies. Some I've had since childhood and others I'm acquiring now as an adult. Many as a result of this blog. 18 Months to the Altar is about more than a wedding and marriage. It grew from an experience where I was less than authentic and was tired of  my own representative. It's really about spiritual growth. Not the kind that happens in a church pew, but the kind that happens when you bump up against experiences you've never had before and learn who you really are. What happens? Do you cling even more closely to the representative? Do you hide?  Do you pretend it's not happening?  Or do you throw off the representative, accept the growing pains, embrace a new awareness and work to establish spiritual health and inner peace. I vote for the latter.

That said.....Mexico was great. Lots of sun, surf, sand and relaxation. I wish I could have stayed longer. Here are some pics below for you to check out.

Spiritual Running Buddies (view on Google Sidewiki)

Sunday, May 15, 2011


First, I apologize for taking so long to post to the blog.  A humble and heartfelt thank you to each of you that have written, called and posted wondering where I am, what I've been up to and if all is well.  I was unaware of the number of people who actually read the blog and  have been touched by the thoughts bouncing around in my head.  I do not take you for granted and appreciate your presence and comments.

The last several weeks have been  filled with school and final exams, "volunteer" projects at work, house guests every weekend during the month of April, unexpected death, church obligations, lending a shoulder and listening ear and being there for everyone except myself.  Normally, I would suck it up, step into my 4 1/2 inch platform peep-toes and keep it moving. Not this time.  I can't deny that I am tired and worn out.  I wish I could say that I'm so together that I called a halt to everything and claimed some me time, but I can't. I'm getting a break only because the semester has ended, I've closed out projects at work, co-launched what seems to be the start of a successful campaign at church and shepherded some folks through some emotional land mines. If the movement of time had not brought resolution to these various projects and situations, I'm not sure that I could or would have.  I'm so addicted to doing the right thing that I haven't done right for myself.  Woosah!

I'm sure you're wondering what does this mean for "18 Months to the Altar."  While reading your comments, emails and twitter messages I've wondered the same thing.  If you've followed the blog from the beginning, you'll recall that I shared with you the qualities that I want in a husband.  Two of those are making me a priority and spending quality time with me.  Two biggies given the inconsistency that I have experienced in the  recent past. On the other hand, how can I expect to attract someone who will make me a priority and spend quality time with me when I haven't made myself a priority or spent quality time with myself.  I have to demonstrate that I am worthy of my own time and attention before anyone else will believe I'm worthy of theirs.  I have to show people how I want to be treated so that they can know how to treat me.  If anyone has been watching for the last few weeks, I'm sure they don't think I'm worth much effort.  Only this week have I finally looked around and noticed the disarray that has become my life.  All people know about me right now is that my life is filled with non-romantic commitments and that I'm tired.  So, today I recommit to myself and 18 Months to the Altar.

At 9:30am this morning, I will boarding a plane and heading toward Playa del Carmen, Mexico for a much needed week of rest and relaxation. Next month, I'll be traveling to home to celebrate my grandmother's 90th birthday.  While there a good friend is arranging dates with two gentlemen that he believes are potential husband material for me.  I'll be back one week from today with news from the Mexican Riviera and hopefully two confirmed dates.

Be good to yourself so that others will be good to you too.