Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Let Those You Love Make Mistakes

Let Those You Love Make Mistakes

As I was reading this post by Mastin Kipp of The Daily Love, I felt as if I was being smacked in the face. I didn't have to spend much time considering the message he had to share. I immediately recognized myself as one of those types who had not allowed my past loves to make mistakes. I'm not referring to things like forgetting to lower the toilet seat or leaving the gas tank on E. I recall an occasion when a young man I dated spoke to me in what I considered a disrespectful way. I blew up. After I expressed myself, he was very clear about my feelings and thoughts. When I reflect back, I can clearly see the issue wasn't with what he said, but it was in how I received it.

My ego got in the way. That little bugger started messing with my head and confirmed my belief that this guy wasn't really interested in me unless it was about the booty. My ego capitalized on my fears and took off like gang busters. All this because I couldn't excuse a poorly executed attempt at being clever. What I forgot is that in any relationship you have to allow the other person the room to make mistakes and be secure knowing that your love won't be withdrawn because you've been disappointed or become angry.

I'm not suggesting that it's okay to excuse bad behavior or to settle for less than you deserve. What I'm advocating is that we allow our loves to be human. None of us is perfect. We're going to make mistakes, too. We don't want to be held to some impossibly high standards that can't be continuously met or indefinitely sustained.

I have finally figured out I'm responsible for how I react to the behavior exhibited by another person. I can choose to react wildly or take a deep breath and consider whether or not I want to be right or happy.